Saturday, October 16, 2010

Zach Snyder is literally everywhere


300 is a rock solid six-pack of a movie, bitch, and I'm proud to say I enjoyed plus or minus 40% of it. The rest was over stylized fluffy garbage (I hate to be rough, but it'll never learn if I'm not). Dawn of the Dead ('07), however, is incredible. The opening scene? Sure. I'll take it. It may be one of the best horror remakes, or stand alone horror films, even, I've ever seen. Granted, a movie like that can only go so far before it hits a roadblock, but DotD plowed through every obstacle in it's way, chainsaws blazing. Watchmen? Yeah. Sure, it's good. I was really excited for the release and got exactly what I expected, nothing more. Perfectly decent. Again, though- I'm about 80% watchmen. The other 20% is over stylized snuff [bad boy!].
Ok, so with these short reviews combined, what does that lead the average movie goer to expect out of a new film from the director of these movies, Zach Snyder? A goodly portion of stylized fluff, I assume.
I didn't see that owl movie Snyder directed nor do I plan to, but that looked 100% snuffy fluff. Seriously- owls? Don't get me wrong, owls are pretty badass. They have serrated wings that allow then to fly without a sound before swooping in on a kill. Badass. Jim Sturgess voicing an owl trying to find old owls to save the owl-kingdom? Fliffy fluff.
Snyder is helming the reboot of the superman franchise, and he has a lot of shadow to walk in. The Richard Donner Superman is easily one of the coolest movies ever, and Snyder wants to do basically what Donner did- eat his family to survive the cruel winter make an original Superman. The Bryan Singer superman was pretty good but it didn't try to reinvent anything, and the superman franchise is begging for reinvention- I'll say again, Quest for Peace. [pogo stick] [cracks gum] [widdles wood]
Details just surfaced for the reboot and Snyder is going back to the roots of Superman, right around the time he became the mild mannered business man Clark Kent. Here's the thing, though- the word on the street is that Snyder might cast Tom Welling and that Durant chick as Clark and Lois (respectively). This is malleable, because if you don't recognize those names, let me take you to school- they're the Clark and Lois from Smallville, the tv show. So Snyder might get a lot of heat because it looks like he very well make what will essentially be the Smallville movie, and that is not cool, at least in my book. If you're going to reinvent the way Superman appears on screen, fine- do it. Please do it. But don't make a smallville movie. I didn't watch smallville but I know for sure that it would be a bad idea.
It's kind of a catch-22, though (I actually have no idea what a catch-22 is so bear with me). It's like being married to the director. You may not get cast simply because it's gouche (no idea what that word means)and unprofessional. Welling might be a super-duper Superman, but if he got cast, it would be the Smallville movie, and that is not a situation that could be avoided with marketing. What are you gonna do, change Clark Kents name, so it doesn't look like 'Smallville: the Movie'?
And then there's the fluff.
I don't know what's going to happen. I'm not worried about it, because I'm not a die-hard Superman fan, and because I could kind of care less what Snyder does. He'll make a movie that will marginally interest me, so I'll see it, why not. I'll tell you why not. In next episode. [lololol]

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