Friday, October 15, 2010

Points of Interest

'Luke, I am your fruit basket.'

Hm, that seems like a pretty lame title for such an anticipated movie. They could have at least called it 'Spiderman 4- the quest for peace' or something like that.
Anyway, big news broke about this week concerning casting for the upcoming fitcha felm, and that news concerned some dick by the name of Rhys Ifans (you can't have that name and not be at least a little dickish) being the new villain. He'll play a professor of Garfields (new spiderman) who turns into a lizard (his name is The Lizard) and rapes Mary Jane and Peter has to find a way to...stop him...I guess.
The Lizard was originally played by Dylan Baker in the old spidey franchise, only he wasn't a lizard, he was just some nerdy dude with one arm. You might recognize this guy Ifans, though. He was 'the foot' in The Replacements, a guilty pleasure of mine. Starring Keanu. Wait...wait. Starring Keanu. All roads lead to Keanu. Amazing!

I'm pretty happy Star Wars exists. It's not only one of the coolest things that's ever happened to movies, it's one of the coolest things ever. Like, seriously. [hair flip]
Anyway, a little while ago, Entertainment Weekly (aka some monkeys in a room trying to write Shakespeare) released a special edition issue for the 30th anniversary of Empire, and they included some pretty sweet never-before-seen stuff, including an as-yet released amateur video of Carrie Fischer's audition (just kidding, Lucas hasn't rendered that for 3D yet).
That aside, Vanity Fair released more sweet photos from the making-of Empire Strikes Back, and they're pretty awesome, check it oot.
Empire Strikes Back is one of the best movies ever made, for many reasons. One- it redefined how action and sci-fi movies appropriated money, and two- it was a Star Wars movie that had very little involvement from George Lucas. He has gone on record saying that he considers Empire to be the worst Star Wars in the series, even though it is pretty much unanimously considered by critics to be the best of the franchise. I (and my brother, too) think Lucas is an idiot savant. Sure, he can create universes like Star Wars and Indiana Jones, and he knows how to make a good movie, but as soon as he dips his dick into the screenplay and direction and casting, we're done for.
*case in point- Hayden Christensen. When they were casting the guy who would play one of the most recognizable villains in the history of cinema, I'm sure more than a few guys had to have been ahead of Christensen. I (and my brother, too) think that Lucas came in to the auditions one day and saw Christensen audition, and while the entire panel of auditors were probably like 'I'm not even gonna give this guy a bit part,' Lucas probably stood up dramatically and proclaimed- 'He is the one.'
So yeah, check this shit out. It's pretty cool. Star Wars is always pretty cool.

Tron is a winner.
Everything that has so far been released for Tron has been awesome. The trailers, the banners, Jeff Bridges...this movie is being perfectly marketed. I hate to say it, but I have to hand it to Disney. No. No. I didn't mean to say that [bad boy!]. What I mean to say is this- I'm glad Disney is doing something that, for once, marginally interests me [good boy]. Yikes. I can't believe I just said 'I have to hand it to Disney'. Please, please don't misunderstand- Disney is the enemy. Disney is Joseph Pulitzer an everybody else is a little newsie trying to make it in the world (shit, Newsies was Disney).
I'll shut up about Disney. People either get what I'm saying and don't care or don't want to know what I'm saying and don't care. Either way, people don't care. People have given up fighting with Disney.
*side note- if you want to see a good movie, see 'The Pixar Story' (I think that's what it's called). It's about how Pixar stood up to Disney on more than one occasion in order to make a name for themselves and make themselves a seperate entity. That's why I like Pixar- they've got balls.
Alright, I'll get to the point [throws off sunglasses]. Like I said, everything about Tron has so far been awesome, and I recently got word that the movie is being scored by Daft Punk. What a bomb to drop. I got all 'aquiver and googled that shit, and it's true- scope this example, biotch. That's just a taste. If you want more, it, or something. I'm not your mother.

James Cameron is thought to be knee deep inside of the Avatar sequels, but that is apparently not the case, because now he may be on board to direct a remake of Cleopatra, starring Angelina Jolie.
*cool fact- the reason it's being pushed on Cameron is because the screenplay is being fast-tracked by Paramount (that may not be right) because it's supposed to be' really good'. I think they just want Cameron to direct something they think has the potential to be really epic and marginally interesting, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, I just don't want Cameron knocking up Angelina and Angelina telling Brad she just adopted the kid. 'Throw it on the pile,' Brad usually responds.
Anyway, yeah, they ('they' being Hollywood executives) want Cameron to maybe wait a little longer before diving 7 miles underwater to film something that is apparently worth diving seven miles underwater for.

Lemme tell you why I suck as a blogger. Two stories I've posted about have been ruled out as a fallacy by the wise sages that reside deep within the bowels of Hollywood. Ok- thing number 1. The first thing.
Lawd, was I excited about this. The story was, and it was apparently 'officially announced', too, was that Emma Stone was going to play Mary Jane Watson in the Marc Webb (hehe, his name's Webb [bad boy!]). This is apparently not the case- she's in the movie all right, but she's going to b playing Gwen Stacy. Now, here's the deal. I know nothing about the comic books but am a fan of the Raimi films, so when I read the article that Stone would play Mary Jane I got excited because I assumed Watson was the main love interest, and because Stone is a very cute redhead. Lo, I am wrong on all counts (not about the redhead thing- she's bankable). Not only is Stone not playing Mary Jane, but Mary Jane isn't even the main love interest in the reboot.
*again, I don't know anything about the comics, so please don't complain. Don't deny it. You were gonna complain. You made a face.
This is all good though, because Gwen Stacy is being played by Stone and Gwen Stacy is the main love interest (Gwen Stacy). Good news goes along with that, because Stacy is a blonde, and Stone is a natural blonde.
Yeah, I'd like to know how they found that one out. Webb comes out of Stones audition, fixes his hair and tie, 'yep, she's natural'.
I don't care either way. This movie is probably going to kick ass, especially because it has the Foot from The Replacements as the villain, and Andrew Garfield really knows how to wear a scarf, and I always thought of Peter Parker as a little scarfy.
Ok- thing 2.
A little while ago I posted a story saying that J. Phoenix (I still have no idea how he spells his name. I want to say Wakeen, but I'm pretty sure that's wrong) was going to play J Edgar Hoover's gay lover in a biopic about the man, directed by Clint Eastwood. This is also apparently a falsehood, because Clint Eastwood has no idea where people got that idea.
His response to these allegations (no joke)- 'I don't know where people got that. Didn't he become a rapper?'
Awesome. What a guy. I just imagine him sitting at a mahogany desk, writing his screenplays, knowing the world is watching, and not caring what they see [doves].

...looks siiiick. Gawd, I can't wait to see this movie. I love Darren Arronofski. Jesus, does he make sweet movies. Gift from God, no foolin'. The Fountain- sweet. Artsy, I like it. Cool images. Requiem for a Dream- badass. Made me want to do smack. The Wrestler- broke my heart, burned the pieces, buried it in mud, and peed on the grave. And now, Aronofski (who bangs Rachel Weiz on the reg), is making another incedible movie called Black Swan.
I can't get into the plot because I'll probably molt from excitement.
*I have to say this- watch the trailer. So good. One of the best trailers I've ever seen.
Before I get too giddy, I'll get to 'th point. Check out this bag of worms. International posters, man, I'm telling you. These are the forms of advertising that Aronofski uses to appeal to audiences abroad. Here in America, all he has to do is show Mila Kunis dancing with her tits out and he's got an audience. People in Europe are such queers [sunglasses].

Check out Caeser: Rise of the Apes. It's the reboot for the Planet of the Apes movies, and it looks pretty dece. The plot is going to be basically how the apes came to power and overthrew mankind. Badass, right? I don't know. I think it looks good. Then again, a lot of things I think look good really aren't (the way I dress, for instance). Anyway, last thing I'll say about this movie is it's going to be risky because this will be the first Apes movie that they're CG-ing the actors into looking like apes. Every other movie they've just used black people prosthetics.

'Jack and Jill Adam Sandler'. Google that. You'll see what I mean.

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