Friday, October 1, 2010

Points of Interest


not a roof you want to be on

BATMAN 3 UPDATE
Michael Caine always seems to be the guy to break news about movies he's going to star in. Two years ago, he told everyone Heath Ledger was going to be the Joker before it was officially announced, among other things (i.e. TDK release date, test results, etc.). Now he just announced the word we've all been waiting for- Batman 3 starts filming in May, with a July 2012 release date. Chris Nolan had this to say about the Dark Knight sequel-
"It's becoming inevitable, I'll put it that way. I feel myself falling into it, I guess. And getting it all figured out and I'm pretty excited about what we're doing so... If I haven't announced it, I think that people probably all know at this point that I'm doing it. I think (I) can at this point, (say) yes."
You know, well I- I don't, um...I guess we...we are, that is to say- we've...we, no that's not it, I, I...Um...I'm...directing it? Thanks Chris. You directed the Dark Knight. You're directing it's sequel. Of course it was inevitable. I love that man to death [hug].

M:I 4 
They've added a few more people to the cast of this already obese blob of a movie prospect, including Jeremy Renner and Josh Holloway. Renner is, as everyone knows, a huge badass who was awesome in Hurt Locker and pretty dece in SWAT. Holloway is, if you don't know, Sawyer from Lost. I watched every episode of Lost and I'll never forgive JJ Abrams for it, but I have to admit I did find some of the characters endearing. Josh Holloway did not portray one of those characters.  He played the whiney, fake, emotional, flabby fruitcake with a cliche and tired backstory that made watching him seriously exhausting. I got a little relieved when I read that Renner might take over the M:I franchise from Cruise after this movie,
*Tom Cruise is (of course) reprising his role as John Everyactionstar, but they're putting a twist on it- his character is actually (get ready) an SS agent.
 but that doesn't make this movie necessary. Mission: Impossible will die, someday. Not soon enough.
*forgive me. I should be more precise- I liked the first M:I, disliked the second, and thought the third was actually not bad. It's just this whole Holloway thing that kind of pisses me off, because all he does is remind me of all the time I wasted with Lost [angrily sweeps hand across desk, spilling objects to the floor].

TRUE GRIT
I didn't see Serious Man, and the general consensus is that it was good not great, but the Coens can never do wrong in mine eye. They are prophets of film. When I heard they were directing the remake of True Grit, I got down on my knees and thanked God. Here's the trailer, in all it's Jeff Bridges-gunslinging majesty. It really looks unbelievable. I've never seen the original, although I do know that it was the film that got John Wayne syphilis an Oscar, so I might have to look into it.

ARMOND WHITE IS AT IT AGAIN
'If it is true that The Social Network defines the decade, as an ad blurb states, then that’s just an accident of its shortcomings.' -Armond White
The Social Network, like most movies that have the potential to be pretty good, started out with a 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. The way it works is simple- the movie is screened beforehand to critics, and the reviews they submit are calculated in RT's aggregator and the site averages it out. Usually, a big movie, like Social Network, that a bunch of critics like, will go straight to 100% simply because nobody had anything bad to say about it, and everybody is screwing everybody in Hollywood so somehow that factors in. Anyway [shuffles papers]...
The new trend among big movies that have the potential to be good that somehow involves everybody screwing everybody in Hollywood is that Armond White hates everything and your movie sucks so there goes your 100%. I should have seen it coming- Armond White at his computer, sipping on chai tea, gazing at all the 99% RT ratings he is responsible for, thinking what his next move will be. Logical choice- the Social Network [lightning].
As I said, White hates most everything, and good movies are no exception. He prevented the Toy Story trilogy from having a collective score of 300% on Rotten Tomatoes. Thanks to him, and only him, it has 299%. Thanks for all the laughs, Whitey, I'll see you in hell.
I have yet to see the Social Network but I will soon, mainly because David Fincher is one of my favorite directors, but I can safely say that it can't be as horrible as White is alleging. It just can't be, right? Someday we're all going to wake up and realize Armond was right. Someday, we'll see. We'll all see.

SKYLINE
...is a movie who's trailer is heuh. All I can say is watch it. Distric 9 plus Cloverfield divided by anything that made those two movies good or desirable.

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