Saturday, December 31, 2011

Lars von Trier

Lars von Trier.

I’d like to say how much I enjoyed your movies. Breaking the Waves is perhaps one of the most intensely personal film I’ve ever seen, followed closely by Antichrist, and now that I’ve seen Melancholia, I’ve been convinced to write you. I know that when I say ‘that I’ve ever seen’, that may not mean much to a personality like yourself, who has witnessed the production of films on a level many people like myself will never experience. I often think about what I would say to you if I ever met you. If I ever ran into you, what could I say? I might say the first thing that comes to my head, which would more than likely be something in the ballpark of ‘I don’t know what the hell to say, man! I have so many questions.’ Well, it’s true, I have many questions, and like so much in life, most of them will never be answered. I’d be happy, as would most of the rest of humanity, to take it in stride- to take it with as much salt as I can. Life is a cacophony of unanswered questions, but I’d like to think that if I knew everything I wanted to know, I’d realize that I’m already dead. Not to sound overly dramatic, but I think I get a glimpse of the afterlife when I watch your movies. It’s refreshing, to watch something made by someone who understands what it’s like to have so many questions, but knowing that they’ll never be answered, and be OK with it. You sir, create films that are the embodiment of the human condition. Because of this, I won’t ask you any questions. I’d only like to say thank you, and that my interest in the art you create will never waver, so long as the man behind the camera remains as devoted as you’ve been.

With sincerity-

James P McDonald

Friday, December 23, 2011

A fellow, in time of redemption and plastering. An essay

I'm at a bar in Lebo currently reflecting on my place in life, and have you seen the hobbit trailer? I really hope you have be ause if you haven't, then what are you doing here? This isnt a first grade blog. And by first grade, I mean before primary school. And if you don't understand 'first grade', then you're clearly a Saudi Arabian viewer in which case, what are you doing here? This isn't first grade.
Anyway, at the prompting of a certain Messer Garreth Storme, who is in fact a homosexual, I've been enthused to produce what the layman may call a cinemeration, which is known to be intelligible only to those who are eligible to interpret its intelligibility.

Back to the hobbit

I'm currently at the mercy of apple products which means I'm handicapped by the limits of not having photoshop but if you've visited my site you know my feelings towards this motione picture-e. seriously watch the trailer, it'll be a year before it comes out, and Jackson, are you kidding me? Rule of thumb, you god damn Brit or Australian or new zealanderian or whatever the heck in speck you are, please. NO DIAGONALS. The poster is all about the diagonals! I remember my first beer too, Pete, and it went over a hell of a lot better than your marketing campaign. And the trailer? Really? I'm all about the hobbit. But please, give me something other than a plain, over-pleated trailer all based off of the point at which a nerd climaxes. I like Martin freeman, but please, give me something other than the first 2 takes of a shot you probably used solely for the trailer. Remember the first release trailer for ROTK? Remember how many socks had to be thrown in the trash because of it? My first beer was a lot more enjoyable.

Anyhow, it's good to be back. I graduated college so hopefully that'll reverberate into my real life. On blogger. Man, that beer was great. Well, I'm gonna see MI4 over the holidays because holy fuck does it look good. Other than that, good to be back, and anybody else who has a gripe with me, please, add me on Facebook. Please. It's not funny if you don't.