Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Channing Tatum as Lando Lovelace or GTFO

There are some things about Hollywood that I love (explosions, David Fincher, breasts, to name a few) and, conversely, some things I do not love (Michael Bay, Jews).
Just kidding about that last part, I <3 Michael Bay.
And there are somethings I just cannot get enough of.
Q-How does this apply to anything I'm about to say?

A- It does not.
C- It does not.

Still, I am fascinated by the idea of Hollywood. I'm not huge on gossip columns or the like I'M LYING but I am huge on finding humor in everything. I am also huge in general. There is, indeed, something about the film industry that leads me to believe that the Jews control everything it's all a big joke. You go to a bad movie and it's HA! GOTCHA! Or if you go to a good movie and then its over. Everything that has a beggining has an end.
Which leads me to the dream I had last night.
Last night I dreamt about the end of western society. Or, more specifically, the moment the west became the north, east and south. The moment I dreamt of was the beggining of the end, the start of a dystopia that would ultimatly control and dominate the world at large. My father was talking to me before it all went down, saying how whatever happens, he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me. It wasn't until after the insurrection that I realized he was part of it from the start. He had given himself a position of power in a seemingly nefarious empire. It wasn't until after I woke that I realized why he did what he did- he did what he did because he had to. He did what he did because...it was what needed to be done.
And this is where it gets exciting.
He took my family to a theatre, a way to get things back to the way they used to be, and I noticed something- there was only one movie playing everywhere. Well, two movies.
Those two movies were the rumored Matrix sequels.
That was when I woke up because I just couldn't take it anymore. COME ON. I dream of a dystopian future where my dad is in the gestapo and the only movies they want to see are the next two Matricies.
I'm mad at myself for apparently not being creative enough to have at least ONE badass dream.
Anyway, I found out today that the rumor Keanu was working with the Wachowskis (who are both Jews) to helm two 3D sequels to the Matrix was total farce.
BTW- see if you can spot any references to the matrix above- there are two.

Also, have you heard that they're already planning on releasing a TEASER FOR THE NEXT TRON OMFG? I mean sure, I thought tron was sweet but you can't just haphazardly dive into numero tres. Disney has finally realized that if you literally make a movie look cool and slather on special effects and put Jeff Bridges as the Cyberdude in charge of some alternate reality it'll make bank and garner a sequel. News to me.
My balls have quivered at this notion.

Oh and if you're wondering what the title has to do with this article, keep wondering.

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